Student paper example

Examples of Feedback on Student Writing

I encourage you to avail yourself of the writing center. The first was when I was walking through a toy isle looking at all the young white children portrayed on the boxes having fun with their toys, and the only other customer was a young Hispanic girl and her father.

More than just a bookend, however, you want your conclusion to be in the service of your argument. Doing so will strengthen your case.

Of particular note is the visceral experience John has in recognizing his own positionality vis-a-vis the studied class topic. After I walked out of the store I felt guilty for having denied being homosexual, I am not, but still, why should I have to clarify anything when walking into a store?

Sometimes this is the best you can do in the circumstances, but it is almost always less effective. Part of maintaining a good structure and writing a strong, clear paper is cutting out all of the superfluous material.

A broadside is good in the brainstorming stage; but then pick out the one or two points that you think are most relevant or promising, and then develop them Student paper example best you can. While white privilege is a common example, there can be many forms of privilege along the lines of sexual orientation, religion, physical attributes, and so on, as long as there is a tipping of the scales of justice that leaves one group in an advantaged position at the expense of another group.

Remember, however, that the paper is not just a list of points. The following was written in response to a student in a first year writing class. Narrow in on something specific and do your best to develop your evaluation or critique i.

Doing so within the word limit and doing it well deserves recognition. Most theories we look at in this class will have plenty of readily identifiable, important similarities.

Citing each claim will help keep you from making this mistake, especially since we all remember passages a little differently than they were actually written.

Reorder things for your benefit. Transition language needs to be accompanied by explicitly tying together or explaining the relationship between the different sections of the paper. This is a sort of hail-Mary approach, a desperate hope that something on your laundry-list of criticisms will stick and give merit to your paper.

At each stage, however, ask yourself —how does this support my argument? I suspect that a lot of this has to do with the difficulties of writing in a second language. Say what needs to be said to inform your reader and set him up for your own argument.

However, the principle to keep in mind is that the opening is the first opportunity to make an impression on your reader. A clear and specific thesis sentence stated up top will help you to organize and tie together the various parts of your paper.

The sad part is that the toy companies are probably maximizing efficiency by targeting what they perceive to be the majority customers appearance in their adds, and the minority customers are oppressed by virtue of their groups position in the economy.

You can almost always avoid a gendered pronoun e. Your three points of criticism build very well on each other, and you end with a satisfying resolution. I think the main form of privilege I found in my field trip to the mall was the expectation that my general appearance and sexual orientation would be reflected in the products and advertisements, thus allowing me to have an immersive shopping experience.

Perhaps the most common mistake was to attribute specific claims to an author without citing the text. Make sure that your reasons really do support or lead to the conclusion you come to. As discussed in the assignment, a critical part of your argument is exploring a counterargument.

This is not just true when attempting to make your own argument, but is also an important element of explicating the academic dialogue for your reader. Also, as noted, your opening needs to be more clear.

Rather than a point by point regurgitation, be judicious in what you include.Sample Student Reflection Paper Rather than simply endorsing reflection papers and their potential to dramatically connect course content with students’ lives, I want to share an example.

I display this unedited reflection paper anonymously with permission of the author who I will call John.

Sample Student Reflection Paper

To fully understand what information particular parts of the paper should discuss, here’s another research paper example including some key parts of the paper. About the OWL The RSCC OWL was born June 5, It's among the oldest (and wisest) OWLs.

This document contains an excerpt of a student's graded paper with sample feedback from the Writing Center. Please click on the file to view. Knowledge Area Modules (KAMs).

Student Writing Models

Examples of Feedback on Student Writing As an undergraduate, my first writing assignment in Jim Faulconer’s philosophy of religion course changed me.

More specifically, it was the feedback on my first paper. An APA Research Paper Model Thomas Delancy and Adam Solberg wrote the following research paper for a psychology class.

As you review their paper, read the side notes and examine the Participants included 51 undergraduate-student volunteers (32 females, 19 males), some of whom received a small amount of extra credit in a college course.


Student paper example
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